Thursday, October 30, 2008

What I Can't Do

Everybody knows what they are good at, right? Have you ever thought to sum up what you can't do? Here's my list:

Trilling the "R's". I can't trill an "R" in Spanish to save my soul. Nope can't do it. This goes way back to a Fifth Grade introduction to Spanish when even my best "White Boy" friend Eric could do it. I should be able to do it; I'm from California with it's HUGH Spanish influence and I have Hispanic blood flowing through my veins. So why can't I trill my "R's?"

Watch the rice fly. I can't use chopsticks! Everybody after just a little training can use chopsticks, even little kids. Not me, doesn't happen. When I go out to eat Chinese food with the kids they automatically say give the old man a fork!

Two hours later and they're still not in. I can't put contact lenses on my eye balls. Don't laugh; even trained technicians have trouble doing it - took one sweet dear 30 minutes to get one in. So after cathartic surgery which improved the sight in one eye and should have allowed me to get rid of my glasses, why I'm I still wearing them? Because I can't get that darn contact lens into my left eye that's why!

It's pronounced "sínnəmən!" Oh yeah? Well I can't say it no matter how hard I try. I'll just stammer away every time, I promise you! So you'll never hear me order a Cinnamon Bun without sounding like a complete fool.

You know how to whistle don't you? Dear Miss Bacall, sorry can't whistle, I have tried and failed. Must be connected to those darn Trilling "R's" that I can't do either.

Splat! Well there goes another pie crust on the wall! I'm a good cook. I make good stews and soups and I can bake bread from scratch. But, I cannot make and roll a pie crust to save me life. I've thrown more failed pie crusts against the wall than you can count. Darn things just won't roll with out tearing into pieces. Thank goodness for Pillsbury frozen pie crusts -- well yeah, there have been a few of those too hitting the wall.